admin @ Tue, 2006-09-12 11:00
The song that finally, after all these years, made pedophilia okay! I can honestly say I have never seen a more disturbing sight in all my years than the day I sat on the subway and watched three little girls, none of whom were over the age of 12, listening to ''Barbie Girl'' on an MP3 cell phone and merrily caressing their own torsos as they sang, ''You can touch/ You can play/ If you say I'm always yours'' at the top of their prepubescent lungs. I know this is not the place for my feminist rants, but if this song was supposed to be ironic, it missed the mark by a mile. They could not have found a more creepy voice to growl, ''Come on, Barbie, let's go party''; there could not be a more reprehensible lesson to teach little girls than the joys of letting a man dominate your unable-to-stand-due-to-the-laws-of-gravity body; and finally, it's not even a particularly good song from a musical standpoint, and I think my ears are bleeding. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's ''fun.'' Give me Cyndi Lauper and ''She Bop'' any day over this sort of ''fun.'' There, at least the squeaky-voiced girl is in charge.
Whee! Doo-doo-doo!! Admit it, people: You love this song. How do I know you love this song? Because I have seen you at parties, on road trips, and during wedding receptions singing along, mouthing every word of Stephan Jenkins' faux-rap, bouncing up and down like Gwen Stefani at a Mighty Mighty Bosstones show circa 1989. Doo-doo-doo!! There's nothing at all wrong with that; in 1997, we were just entering the fun-time rock-band era that would usher in such sunny, roly-poly, destined-to-one-day-go-on-and-host-Extra groups as Sugar Ray and Smash Mouth, and we weren't yet sick of this crap. Now, of course, I could largely do without. But let me ask you this: Which do you prefer, jolly party rock or nü metal? Yeah, that's what I thought.
How can you make fun of a song about a dead guy? Sure, Puffy is blatantly manipulating our emotions by sampling a Police song, and yeah, the Faith/112-sung chorus is terribly shrill, and indeed, there is very little actual original work happening here, but nevertheless: It's a song about a dead guy.
The big winner of 1997's ''How Do I Live''-off, this version of the Diane Warren-penned love theme from Con Air (no, seriously, Con Air had a love theme) beat out Trisha Yearwood's soundtrack cut by a long shot and has gone on to top the list of country wedding songs, second only to Shania Twain's ''You're Still the One''/''From This Moment On'' rock block. I'll admit to a cheesy love for LeeAnn, and also to spending some time singing this alone in my room at night, but I made a tragic misstep at karaoke this weekend by trying to move my quiet, private performance into a public venue. Word to the wise: Don't try it. It's boring, it goes on forever, and you can't hit the high notes.
Best things about this track: It's a song by a dead guy that actually beat the tribute song to said dead guy on the charts. It's off a posthumous album perhaps not coincidentally titled Life After Death. It once again features Puff Daddy, hip-hop's savviest participant of all time. And it samples a hot, hot Diana Ross song. Worst things about this track: It once again features Puff Daddy. It gets ''I'm Coming Out'' stuck in my head. And I am convinced that Biggie's use of this girly sample was a direct factor in Jay-Z's decision to put those squawking orphans in ''Hard Knock Life.'' Finally - and I know I'm not by any means the first person to say this, nor will I be the last - can someone solve his damn murder already? And then start figuring out what happened to Jam Master Jay? Thanks.
I am so very excited to go see Usher in Chicago on Broadway next week, mostly I know that he is already a pro with , a skill very necessary in that production. (I also like the way Mr. Raymond anticipated the coming boy-band storm in this video, forestalling its dominating effect on his career by F/X-ing himself into a fivesome.) Overall, I give ''You Make Me Wanna...'' mad props, mostly because unlike so many of his unh-ing R&B peers, Usher has actually taken some risks here with the time signature and kept the treacle to a minimum. It is perhaps the only song in which I will tolerate both an overbearing high-hat and a ridiculously unnecessary dinging parakeet bell in the background.
Aw, they're so young! So fresh, so new! If only we could have known what this song would bring, Flashbackers, do you think we'd have embraced it so? If we could go back and see that this charming, innocent, so-called ''band of boys'' - just off the boat from success in Germany (where they totally have impeccable musical taste; see: Hasselhoff, David) - would lead to the downfall/resurrection of pop music, depending on your perspective... would we do it all again? Personally, I say yes. Even though this track happens to be totally generic and neutered and the sort of thing that makes me want to start cutting myself just to remember what it feels like to have a genuine emotion, anything that led to the existence of ''I Want It That Way'' can't be all bad.
This is cache, read story here